Belly Ring

I used to join a belly dancing session and stopped for almost a year now. Just recently I went back, that is when I met a very enthusiastic friend. Right in the middle of the belly dancing session, I steal glances at her belly ring. At the end of the dance I could not help but approach her and asked about it. Her name is Jhuan and she herself pierced it. She instructed me the things to buy and where to buy them. I should need the gauge (needle), a marker, alcohol and of coarse the belly ring.

The gauge is well sealed and it is already sterilized. The alcohol is a means of disinfectant as obviously. Something that I watched in movies that conduct plastic surgery is the image I pictured when Jhuan told me that I need to put two dots on my belly- one where the needle gets in and another dot where the needle gets out.

 We made arrangements as to when she will do it on me. Unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she is not able to make it. I was so determined to really have it on that very date and I have been waiting for days. And so, I decided to also do it myself. I did the piercing.

It must be done in a lying position, the stomach gets to be more relax that way. I had a hold of the amount of skin that i will be penetrating with the gauge, pointed the needle on the first dot going upward. Now why did I pointed it upward, it is because it is easier to hold the belly ring in. Once the gauge is half way I inserted the tip of the belly ring to the hole on flat tip of the gauge. By pulling the gauge upward the rest of the ring just follow until its entire stem gets in.

This is the image of the gauge after I pierced my navel.

There is only a very small amount of blood that came out. It was so funny that I only realized the bleeding part when I saw it. I not really fond of seeing even the slightest sight of blood, I easily get nauseatic. Good thing that the amount that came out is even unnoticeable.

And here we go! Once the entire stem of the ring is in, I locked it up and all is good. Accordingly it may take time to heal but I always make sure that I apply alcohol to it. It may sting a bit but its very durable.

Digital Art

"I do not feel like showing my work for they are not that good," was the exact words I said with a friend on the phone. And his responds was "What is holding you and your achievement with your work is that fear." Thus for whatever it is, it may not be that good but I'll make sure it will be better than before.

 

The feeling is just so addictive that u just can't stop. once u finish one project the feeling is so fulfilling that you just want to jump to another work. You now you need to sleep but the feeling is just so overwhelming that you just keep on doing it.

Aperire

      Aperire is a Latin word for April. It means "to open", an allusion to it being the season when trees and flowers begin to open. As for me, this month opened a lot of opportunities to experience wonderful and very memorable events. It has been a while since I tried writing about anything. So before the month ends here's what I've been up to the entire time.

     The first day of the month was Palm Sunday. For the entire day, Sto. Rosario Parish in Cebu conducted mass after the other just to accommodate a very large number of people. They all came in waiting for their palms to be blessed. This is one of the traditions practice by the Roman Catholic one Sunday before the Holy Week.

Sto. Rosario Parish in Cebu City, Taken last April 1, 2012. People are waving their Palms waiting for it to be blesses in celebration of Palm Sunnday.

Wave 6 of the Triple-play Overnighters- after completing the 10-day CCT.

     April 16, 2012, I started my training for employment with Convergys Cebu. After resting for one lazy month, I finally get to start with this. I was excited indeed, meeting new people and getting to learn new stuffs is just my kind of thing. Hopefully we will all be able to pass the PST and get to be regularized. I honestly needed to adjust a little for I got used to sleeping and just be lazy the entire time that I was unemployed. Aside from what was provided in the training it is important to also do some self study than to just depend everything to the trainer. Well I should say learning could be hard but it's all worthwhile.

      Today is the 29 and tomorrow will be the first day of our PST in my new employer. And on the 30th of April as well me and my special partner is planning to go out to celebrate the last day of his HBD month.

      I made this blog to share the events I had in the month of April. As the word meaning goes, it opened me an opportunity to start a new in my new employer; and for my partner, in his future plans. I am afraid though where this welcoming of the new path will lead us. Will we be together after this journey? That question is currently lingering in my head.

Fear of the Past

It was year 2000, the time that I got my first period. The year where I should say I became a true woman. Also in the same year,  almost on the same date, I saw my father's mistress. It all came too fast for such a young mind to absorb, I was nine that time. My mother holding a pocket knife against this woman and my father covering her holding my mother's risk. Mom fought harder, my father's right eyebrow was bleeding. All I did that time was to stare, observe what will happen next, waiting for my mother-who brought me in the scene- to instruct me. After that occurrence the endless fights and late night sobbing on the other room became clearer to me. My mother was struggling. She is in great pain for my father has another woman, after all the sacrifices, the selflessness and the daily effort that she is doing to give us the most convenient home. She was hands on with everything, very motherly, a wife material as what every home needs. She cooks deliciously and bakes, almost perfect. 

My mom died in December of 2006. My father married her mistress and now has an 10 or 12 year old daughter; And yes they had it long time before my mom died. With this roller coaster life that I have been on, I promised myself to never repeat history. In fact I even told myself that if I may not love then the better. I do not want to be left, cheated by these men. Now I am 22 years old, that thought was changed. But still the fear of the past still haunts me.

I want to have someone whom shall I treat as a king, that I shall love and care the most. A person whom I should wake up everyday and will sure to make him feel the most beautiful and perfect man that the Lord created. I will not ask for more from him but a recognition and appreciation that I exist-that I am valued. For in that case I shall do and give more. Furthermore I want to be respected. I was captivated by this message from a public page in Facebook and this send me to writing this blog:

Respect a Lady.

Treat her like you would want a man to treat your sister. In other words, treat her as a person, not an object. Treat her like a princess and always try to give her comments that make her feel better about herself, rather than put her down.

Listen to her opinions and ideas. Appreciate her as she is, and never underestimate her intelligence. Treat her as an equal. Call her in advance to make plans to go out and never assume that she doesn’t have anything better already scheduled..

Listen to her and respond in a non-condescending manner. Be there for her if she’s crying or upset by holding her. Compliment her. If you think she is beautiful say it! “Beautiful” is so much more respectful than “hot”, it show's you see a lot deeper than the surface. Love and learn to appreciate her for who she is, as well as her body type. Don’t try and change her physically, just love her natural beauty.

Hold hands with her on the street. Don’t be ashamed to be romantic and when you meet up with your friends, introduce her. Don’t ever cheat on her… talk things through.

Be a gentleman! Look out for her feelings. Accept her values/morals. Be interested in her life! Ask her what’s going on, be helpful, never put her down. If she’s wrong don’t go out of your way to prove her. Be nice and treat her like she is special. Don’t push her to do things she is not ready for. Treat her with respect and pay attention to the small things, coz even if it doesn't look like it, most of the time those small things really mean a lot..

Don’t put her down, or make her feel uncomfortable when you are hanging out together with your friends or your parents. Stand up for her! If one of your friends puts her down, confront them and tell them that it is not okay. And always fight for her and defend her honor, till your last dying breath..

-Karl To

This will be an ultimate dream come true if this will happen to me. But then again I do not ask for too much but to just be valued and respected. Before getting anything good from other people we ourselves should practice it to them. As they say, respect begets respect. Accordingly before people will know how prestigious we are we must show it to them first-it must come from within. Do not let other people belittle us or else they will grow with it and worst we might grow with it aswell. We let them step on us too much and thus, we feel less of a being than they are. We must stand on our feet and avoid such repetition of rubbish actions or verbiage towards us. Not in a hostile way but in a dignifying way. Sometimes silence or unresponsiveness gives a sense of I-do-not-agree-with-you feeling and I believe is very effective.

I never remember how it is to have a complete and happy family. I am even afraid that I may never have one. But I trust in the Lord, for He has plans. For whatever it is I shall move forward and be the best person that I can be with everyone. I know I must not worry about it too much. I just need to enjoy life and see what it has in store for me.

The Dark Tunnel

I was walking towards the light in this dark tunnel of life. Often I fall down, had my knees wounded but I never gave up. Now I am exhausted, my sole are aching and I don't know where am I heading. I lost the purpose of what this is all about. What is there to continue searching? Have I already reached my limit and found out that this is all that I am made for?

Lord, I should admit, I misinterpret the light that I was following with these diamonds shimmering before me. Guide me to the right path that shall lead me to Your paradise. I am weak, I easily get confused, easily tempted. I am so blind to know where to go. The tunnel is dark that I only depend on these lights that I see in front me.

For greater things, I know I am made for. It may not be clear as of the moment but someday it will all make sense, I know. It is the journey that matters the most and not much with the destination. Appreciate life and every little being that interacts in and with it. Focus on a lot of things. I should explore my horizon. This searching of my purpose will be easier if I will give everything a chance to have my attention one at a time. A friend told me that and I quote, "We do not have the luxury of time. Set a deadline to your plans so that no time will be wasted." I will never now how long will I exist in this wonderful world, so I must enjoy every little bit  of it while I still can. If I may need to do something as what we all do, I must set a time span as to how long I can prepare for it and set when must it be accomplished. I am aware of this practice, I have always been doing it. What he told me was a heads up, I just needed to find my other self, determined, outgoing, always curious. But then I am not dismayed with this down-feeling that I am having right now, with this I came to know my self better. I get to experience another experience that life may offer, the feeling of uncertainty, unsatisfactory. But then I must not stay here for long.

Lord help me stand on my swollen feet and give me strength to restart this journey. I know I had enough rest now, but I lack the drive to pursue on reaching the light. Enlighten me, empower me! That I may know, that I may do Your will and proclaim Your glory!